The Most Difficult Question

Often in my life, I have found that I am almost never with myself. In fact, it almost feels like I am afraid to be with myself. I am afraid to ask questions to the person in the mirror.

A simple question like “How are you?” almost forces me to lie.

How do you answer this question honestly to yourself? We usually give the standard answer: “Everything is fine.” But if everything is really fine, why is the heart so heavy? Why so serious?

There is a deep hollow hiding behind this “everything is fine.” To the outside world, it is a good answer because—let’s be honest—no one wants to know the truth anyway.

But when this dishonesty is directed inward, towards the self, it becomes a crime.

The Crime Against Self

How do you stop a criminal who is committing a crime against themselves? More importantly, who is there to stop it?

This leads to a much bigger problem. We think we hate slavery, but deep down: We are less afraid of slavery and more afraid of freedom.

The problems of slavery are incredibly obvious—restrictions, orders, chains. But the horrors of Freedom are something we don’t even understand yet.

The beauty of life is that you can be free within whenever you feel like it, even when you are trapped outside. But we never go that way.

Why? Because slavery, even if brutal, is known and experienced. Freedom is an unknown experience. A known foe feels safer than an unknown friend.

Trained to Follow Orders

Right from the moment we come into existence, we are trained to follow orders.

• First from parents.

• Then from teachers.

• Then from society.

• Finally, from bosses in the workplace.

In fact, it is praised if someone does not apply their mind and simply follows orders. Slavery is appreciated and praised. But the moment you do something extraordinary, the moment you think for yourself, society might even crucify you.

Countless generations have followed this same rule where obedience is a noble virtue. This has made our thinking a slave. Now, if there is no one to give us direction, we have no idea what to think.

We have no idea if we have any control over our thoughts. Thus, the mind wanders in random directions. Random thinking makes life a football match without a goal post.

Happy Playing!

The Healing Possibility

So, what to do then?

I am trying to pour myself onto these pages because that is the only healing possibility I can think of. It may or may not work for everyone else. I don’t know.

But I find immense pleasure when words leave my mind and present themselves in front of me as an article. These are simply me, blurting out the truth. These are strictly personal experiences.

I write only because staying quiet felt heavier. I write only to heal myself.

An empty mind with a full page is any day more fascinating than a full mind with an empty page.

Just Think Over It.